Visiting With My Teenage Self

I love young people, teenagers and young adults.

I especially love young women; I guess I see myself in them a lifetime ago!

What was I like when I was their age?

As I take a trip down memory lane, I am laughing at some of the picture memories in my mind; so many happy memories; but there is another set of memories, and they are sobering ones, looking back I realise I tripped up far more times than I wish to remember. If I could go back and share a few words with my younger self, what would I say?

A few life lessons I would share with my younger self as we visit over a cup of cold lemon and ginger tea this hot afternoon.

Don’t be in a hurry to become an adult:

A friend of mine once said; remember to enjoy the journey on the way to the destination.

Dear Abimbola, don’t be in a hurry to become an adult, you are going to become one anyway, so what’s the hurry? A friend of mine once said; remember to enjoy the journey on the way to the destination. The destination is adulthood, but there’s a lifetime of memories to be made as a teenager, as a young adult; enjoy being a teenager, it’s only seven short years, you have the rest of your life to be an adult.

Also learn to respect boundaries; they are there to protect you, and contrary to what your peers may tell you, rules are not meant to be broken! As you know I’m a dentist now, and in my time I have seen a number of accidents that happened simply because some people said “no” to the protection that certain rules e.g. “don’t drink and drive” provide. If you want to live in a safe world Abimbola, learn to follow the rules.

Picture a green meadow in spring, what do you see? A riotous display of colour hues, shapes, and fragrance from the blooming flowers, each one beautiful and resplendent in its own right; the daffodil is not trying to be a rose, nor the buttercup a daisy or a poppy. How dull the world would be if all flowers were one shape and colour! I am convinced that God loves variety. What am I saying to you?

You are beautiful just as you are Abimbola; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

There is more to you than your looks my dear, don’t let that determine your worth, because what a person looks like is certainly not the key to happiness; happiness comes from understanding who you are and finding out what makes you unique; paying so much attention to your looks for example the use of too much make up, has the tendency to give the impression of being older and attract the wrong type of attention. I know this might be hard to believe, especially with all the picture perfect glamorous models and celebrities that you see on billboards and on television that seem to have it made. Yet I remember overhearing a young man complain about a girl, he had no good word to say about her, when an older friend said to him “but she is a beautiful girl” his reply was “Auntie she is so nasty, I cannot see her beauty”!

Picture a green meadow in spring, its ablaze with the riotous colours from different flowers.

There is beauty in diversity.

So my dear, remember you are unique because you are created to reflect God’s beauty and character Genesis 1:26.  

Trying to keep up to the standard of the popular crowd, the “cool crowd” is a bad idea Abimbola, because what’s popular today is gone tomorrow and life begins to feel like you’re perpetually on a treadmill trying to catch up, yet you are going nowhere. Breathe; life is easier that way!

As a teenager, my one addiction was reading novels (that in itself wasn’t a bad thing, except that instead of studying for exams or doing my homework I quite preferred reading novels!), some of my friends were addicted to the horoscope, they wouldn’t dare do anything until they had checked the daily horoscope. The equivalent of these addictions in today’s world is social media; while no one is privy to the thoughts or ideas I had while reading those books, in today’s world, once we post anything on social media, it becomes public property.

A word of caution, all that glitters is not gold.

Don’t believe all that you see on social media, a lot of it is make-believe.

Dear Abimbola, just a word of caution, this is what I would tell myself if I was around in this day and age; remember that all that glitters is not gold; don’t believe all that you see on Instagram, a lot of it is make-believe. One last word on social media, bear in mind that the internet never forgets, so think before you post; be careful who you troll on social media, once it’s out, it’s almost impossible to retrieve. My advice to you my dear is to put your best foot forward on social media just like you would do in real life, and treat people like you would want to be treated on social media and especially in real life.  

Don’t have fun at the expense of other girls; more girls are bullied in their friendship groups than we all realise; don’t make jokes about other people’s dress sense, speech impediments, weight, families etc. That’s bullying plain and simple, they may laugh along with you, but if the roles were reversed would it still be funny?

Be genuine; be a true friend!

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you, so send in your comments or send in an email. Let’s talk!

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See you next Wednesday

Abimbola