It’s my mum’s birthday as I write this; I am thousands of miles away, and due to the pandemic, I cannot say happy birthday in person.
My mum is in her 9th decade, she has lived a full and varied life; as I sit here reminiscing, I remember the many talks (and yes, a few arguments!) that we’ve had.
Stories that made me smile;
Stories that made me cry;
And more than anything, stories that made me think!
So what can we, women, young ladies, and girls of this generation learn from another woman a couple of years shy of her 90th birthday.
Growing up there was always some person or people from our extended family living with us, that’s just the African way; all were treated fairly by my mother, there was no favouritism. Today we are all grown up, flung all over the world, yet we share a bond as close as any siblings.
A lesson for life and living learnt at the feet of my mother:
Relationships are important:
Your family are the best friends you will ever have; friends will come and go, but family, that’s a relationship that is constant.
Cultivate those relationships; your sisters may be your competitors, but (believe it from someone with two sisters, one on either side of her), they are the best confidants ever!
And your friendships, invest in them, friends made in church and other social hubs; I have friends made in the workplace, I have since moved on from the job, but not from the friends.
A lesson for life, learnt from my mother; relationships are important; invest in your friendships
I have a “twin sister-friend”, born on the same day as me; we’ve known each other since we were knee high, I am privileged to number her among my friends still.
I attended boarding school, where I bonded with a diverse group of 10, 11, 12 year old girls; ladies if any of you is reading this I just want to say that I have the best class sisters on this planet, truly like the old scout song says, “new friends are like silver, but old friends are like gold”!
So how do you show yourself to be a true friend Proverbs 18:24; how do you invest in friendships?
Send a text to celebrate birthdays;
Send a card at Christmas;
Call just to say hello;
Be a listening ear;
Keep confidences;
Be trustworthy; be honest; be open; don’t be critical; be dependable.
And when the pandemic is over, take time out to visit.
Just let your family and friends know that they’re in your thoughts, and you have their back.
Remember we need each other as we travel along life’s journey; we need older women who have walked the path of this life journey, who understand the curves that life throws at us; we need our peers, they are the ones who laugh with us and sometimes cry with us when we’re having a “bad hair” day; we need the younger ones they keep us on our toes and keep us youthful.
So, I am grateful for the women whose lives have crossed mine at life’s crossroads and intersections, and you should too.
I’d love to hear from you, so send in your comments or send in an email. Let’s talk!
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See you next Wednesday
Abimbola
Even the gods, if they exist, must laugh from time to time. Perhaps what we call tragedy is merely comedy from a higher perspective, a joke we are too caught up in to understand. Maybe the wisest among us are not the ones who take life the most seriously, but those who can laugh at its absurdity and find joy even in the darkest moments.
If everything in this universe has a cause, then surely the cause of my hunger must be the divine order of things aligning to guide me toward the ultimate pleasure of a well-timed meal. Could it be that desire itself is a cosmic signal, a way for nature to communicate with us, pushing us toward the fulfillment of our potential? Perhaps the true philosopher is not the one who ignores his desires, but the one who understands their deeper meaning.
Time is often called the soul of motion, the great measure of change, but what if it is merely an illusion? What if we are not moving forward but simply circling the same points, like the smoke from a burning fire, curling back onto itself, repeating patterns we fail to recognize? Maybe the past and future are just two sides of the same moment, and all we ever have is now.
The essence of existence is like smoke, always shifting, always changing, yet somehow always present. It moves with the wind of thought, expanding and contracting, never quite settling but never truly disappearing. Perhaps to exist is simply to flow, to let oneself be carried by the great current of being without resistance.
All knowledge, it is said, comes from experience, but does that not mean that the more we experience, the wiser we become? If wisdom is the understanding of life, then should we not chase every experience we can, taste every flavor, walk every path, and embrace every feeling? Perhaps the greatest tragedy is to live cautiously, never fully opening oneself to the richness of being.
Friendship, some say, is a single soul residing in two bodies, but why limit it to two? What if friendship is more like a great, endless web, where each connection strengthens the whole? Maybe we are not separate beings at all, but parts of one vast consciousness, reaching out through the illusion of individuality to recognize itself in another.
Man is said to seek happiness above all else, but what if true happiness comes only when we stop searching for it? It is like trying to catch the wind with our hands—the harder we try, the more it slips through our fingers. Perhaps happiness is not a destination but a state of allowing, of surrendering to the present and realizing that we already have everything we need.
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If everything in this universe has a cause, then surely the cause of my hunger must be the divine order of things aligning to guide me toward the ultimate pleasure of a well-timed meal. Could it be that desire itself is a cosmic signal, a way for nature to communicate with us, pushing us toward the fulfillment of our potential? Perhaps the true philosopher is not the one who ignores his desires, but the one who understands their deeper meaning.
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