My Mother’s Values

Where I live we get to celebrate mother’s day twice a year, with both UK and North America; so as North Americans (and Baptists all over the world, of which I am one) gear up to celebrate Mother’s day on 9^th May 2021, I sit here once again, thinking about the values a mother passes on knowingly or not.

As mothers, we have impact, what kind will it be, good or bad?

And the exciting thing is the choice is ours!

Before I type one more word, please accept my heartfelt apology for the “break in transmission”, it’s been rather busy around here for quite a while; a proper rollercoaster, that has included hospital visits and going for tests, just so much going on at the same time.

I have had two strong women as mothers, (apart from the many older women in my various social circles who mentor me) who intentionally and unintentionally made me the woman I am today; let me tell you about them.  

A woman named Esther

My mum has different sayings; she drummed them into our heads at the slightest opportunity;

“Be responsible”

“Take responsibility for your actions”

“Do not settle for a life of mediocrity”

“The way you dress, is the way you’re addressed” (that was said in my native Nigerian language, and had greater impact than the English version).

“Don’t follow the line of least resistance”, meaning, don’t give up on your goals easily, have some grit, get a backbone!

Mothers have impact, good or bad, the exciting thing is, the choice is ours…….. words of a mother’s instruction, ringing in the ears of a child, even though he is far from home.

I could go on and on; honestly, I can almost still hear her voice ringing in my head!

But her favourite of all time must be, “Remember the child of whom you are”  

Each time we left home, especially those of us who went away to boarding school we left with that phrase ringing in our ears. (when I met my husband, I learnt that this phrase was also his mum’s parting shot!).

So what did I learn from my mother’s parting message?

Remember the daughter of whom you are, meaning, “beware of the company you keep” because evil communication corrupts good manners (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Remember the daughter of whom you are, meaning, “live within your means”; be content with what you have because “he who goes a borrowing will go a sorrowing” and the borrower is servant to the lender (Proverbs 22:7)

The phrase “Remember the son (or daughter) of whom you are” embodied many lessons, all of them intentional;

Be hardworking, lazy people are non-achievers (Proverbs 6:6-11)

Don’t give up easily

Be courteous and hospitable

My mum was a visionary, she envisioned how she wanted us to turn out, and she used the words of instruction and correction to fashion our paths.  

A woman named Elizabeth

My mother-in-law;

She travelled outside the country to study for 4 months and that influence changed the life of her family forever!

The good practices she picked up, she passed on to her son, such as “a gentleman doesn’t hit a lady, don’t beat your sister”

My mother in law passed away over a decade ago; I miss her still;

She held her own in difficult circumstances, and when no one would take her side, she stood alone.

She was a survivor who thrived in tough situations

Every mother with an empty nest, our jobs don’t end because our nests are empty; that grown-up child needs the greatest impact of all, prayer!

She had a great sense of humour, and laughed at herself ever so often;

What lessons did I take away as I watch her?

I learnt to be less uptight, that it is okay to laugh at myself

That life is short, so I should live each day to the fullest

These lessons were unintentional, she was just being herself.

As I sit here typing away, one word is uppermost in my mind;

Impact;

That’s what these two women and many more too numerous to number have had on my life.

This reminds me of a video clip I watched recently; it was of Venus Williams going back to California to thank her first grade teacher. She gifted the teacher (a lovely white-haired lady) with a framed racquet (one of her personal ones), with these inscription “you are a star, thank you for all you’ve done to help me rise” that’s impact.

And the greatest impact of all? Prayer

Praying for all the little ones (and the not so little ones) who come your way, because a mother is not just the one who carries a baby in her womb, but everyone with a mother’s heart.

Mothers with impact abound everywhere;

The teacher in school, building a child’s self-esteem; the hairdresser whispering into the ear of the shy young child; “you’re beautiful”; the kindly saleswoman at the mall with candy for the little ones, loving them with her actions.

 Mothers, we have impact that lasts a lifetime, what kind will it be?

So as we celebrate another Mother’s day my heart beats;

For every woman, who dreams of the day when she will hold her own baby, I feel you; I have walked this road before.

For every woman, who looks at the baby in her arms, and is scared stiff because you don’t know what the future holds, I know that feeling! Hold fast to the hand of the One who holds the future and don’t let go, and He will take care of all your fears.

For every woman, whose child has left the nest, and your arms feel empty, welcome to my reality; yet our impact doesn’t end because our nests are empty, that grown up child needs the greatest impact of all; prayer!

Thank you to my two mothers for being such great prayer warriors. When I grow up I want to be like you!

Happy Mother’s Day Again!

I’d love to hear from you, so send in your comments or send in an email. Let’s talk!

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See you soon

Abimbola